After working as a trainer for a long time, I’ve learned a thing or two about what keeps people from reaching their goals. I’ve also done a lot of self-reflection to figure out what has kept me from reaching mine!  I want to share my top four insights as to what keeps people stuck and keeps them from getting what they want.

1- Expecting Fast Results

I’ve talked about this a lot in regards to weight loss but it really translates into every area of our lives.  When I was a new trainer I thought it would be SO easy to get clients. Who wouldn’t want to train with me, right?  Wrong.  It took me a solid two years before I built a steady business training.  I also thought I’d start my online business and BOOM…things would magically take off.  Wrong again.  Things take time! What a great practice in patience 😉

Expecting quick results and success is a fast track to disappointment.  In the real world we have to work really hard for the things we want.  So what can we do instead is focus on what we CAN do instead of what we can’t. In terms of my business, while I can’t yet turn this into a full-time thing,  I can post consistently, respond to emails, keep putting content out there and interact with my people regularly- all actions steps that will get me closer to my end goal.

2- Dwelling On The Past

When we are constantly dwelling on the past, our stress and anxiety increases big time.  It’s seriously exhausting and strips away the joy of the present.  What’s done is done and we can’t go back to the past to change anything. What we can do though is find gratitude for our past, learn from it and move on. This can be tough but it’s a great practice to bless and release!  Like Phoebe from Friends says “It’s in the past, and you can’t be mad about the past. You’re not still mad about the Louisiana Purchase, are you?”

3- Fearing Change

Holding on to a fear of change keeps us from taking action.  We fear the unknown, we fear failure, we fear success, we fear loss and this fuels our self-doubt thus…you guessed it..keeping up stuck!

The thing is, resistance to change is totally normal! Our brains are pretty much wired to take the path of least resistance so whatever we’re used to, we want to keep doing that.  What we can do to overcome it is think about why we are so resistant to it. What I like to do when this comes up for me is to ask myself “what’s the worst that can happen?” This brings our fears to the forefront so we can tackle them head on.  Once we realize that the worst case scenario really isn’t so bad, it’s that much easier to move forward.

Fearing change requires trust in yourself that you’ll be able to handle whatever comes your way as a result of that change.  We have to learn to embrace the uncertainty of whatever life throws at us because we can never ever predict what’s coming for us down the line.  Learn to be open to new experiences and look at changes for all the possibilities they can bring for you.

4- Seeing Failure as a Sign to Quit

Failure is a necessary step towards success.  Success takes willpower, intelligence and determination. But more than anything else, it requires failure. So instead of looking at failure as a negative thing, why not look at it as a lesson?  Failing shows us that whatever we were doing does not work so we learn to not make that same mistake again. Failing also show us that we’re trying which is always better than quitting or not starting in the first place. 

Let’s look at this in terms of weight loss.  Say you try a low carb diet but by day 6 you’re ravenous, moody and tired.  You go home and eat a bunch of crackers and candy and start thinking of yourself as having failed on the diet. Fair enough, but our perception of that failure is what’s important.  We can either A- beat ourselves up about it or B- think that maybe this diet wasn’t for me so try a different plan involving more carbs.  B will keep moving forward towards the weight loss goal where A will keep us stuck where you are. Do whatever it takes to keep moving forward towards your goal despite and bumps along the way.

Quick takeaways:

Instead of expecting fast results, understand that you’ll have to work really hard for what you want.

Instead of dwelling on the past, find gratitude for everything that’s happened for you, learn from it and move on.

Instead of fearing change, learn to be open to new experiences and look at changes for all the possibilities they can bring for you.

Instead of seeing failure as a sign to quit, keep taking action and do whatever it takes to keep moving forward towards your goal