Why resolutions and goals kinda suck and what you can do instead (plus a 2016 recap)

2016 was FREAKING SCARY but it was also pretty awesome.  In a quick recap:

  • I quit my full-time job and went part time so I could put more focus on my online biz
  • I launched 5 online programs after never launching a single one before
  • I wrote SUPER vulnerable blog posts sharing stuff I’ve never really told many people before (Breaking the Binge being example #1)
  • I tried new things like zip lining and went line dancing
  • I joined a new gym
  • I took a week off from training clients and teaching my classes, which I haven’t done in over two years, to go to Las Vegas for a fun vaca with my man

For a long time I was very accustomed to playing it safe and flying under the radar. I lived by the mindset that if I didn’t take risks I couldn’t fail. If I didn’t put myself out there I wouldn’t have to feel rejected if people didn’t like what I had to say.  If I didn’t try anything new, I wouldn’t have to worry about looking stupid. My GOSH that sounds so freaking lame but it was all true. 

2016 was a risky year for this chick who always liked to play it safe.

>> Quitting my full-time job?  Was I nuts?! Turns out, I wasn’t, and it was by far the best decision I’ve made for myself this year.

>> Or what about putting my past problems with bingeing and body image stuff on the internet for everyone and anyone to read?  Wouldn’t people think I was pathetic?  Who knows, but the best part is I don’t really care.

>> What if things didn’t go as planned or as I wanted them to? Would I be able to handle it?! I found the answer to this was ‘yes’ when one of my launches was a total and complete flop, yet here I am.  Still doing my thing 😉

I’m not saying you have to quit your job, or that you should air all your ‘dirty laundry’ for strangers (and friends) on the internet to read, unless you believe doing those things will help your life in some way, but what I’m saying is that it’s time to stop playing it safe and it’s time to step into a life you actually love the crap out of living.

But I know it’s really hard.  These decisions are NOT easy to make.  Trust me.  I went back and forth about leaving my job for a very long time before pulling the plug.  I didn’t suddenly wake up one day full of confidence that everything would work out just fine. I talked it over a million times until I finally just freaking did it already.

The kept me focused and pulled me back to my purpose when I was feeling like I wanted to give up. 

I’m not one to set New Year’s Resolutions.  I’m actually not one to even set goals. While I do enjoy the process of working for something and achieving it, setting a goal or resolution actually makes me feel all…panicky.  I do so much better when I can just roll with the punches and take things as they come, so when 2016 rolled around I set intentions instead of goals or resolutions.  My intentions reminded me all year long of where I was going, why I was going there and how I was going to do it with no attachment to an outcome and no expectations for how things would unfold.

My first intention was turning fears into action.  When we focused on what could happen or what we’re scared of happening, we stay stuck.  We can always come up with reasons why we shouldn’t go for it and freaking DO IT ALREADY.  I think we all have those things that we want so badly but think we can never get or achieve.  My question to you is what if you just did it anyway?  What if you used that energy coming from fear to supercharge your efforts to reach that next level?  I’d be willing to bet that your life would change for the better- I know mine did.

For me, this meant hiring, and spending lots of money on, business coaches even though I had a serious fear of not having enough money to afford it.  As it turned out, I did have enough money.  In fact, I had more than enough.  And I got a hell of a lot more than I bargained for with the coaching program, in the best way.

It also meant leaving my job, as I mentioned before.  Scary?  Hell effing yes.  As it turned out, all that time being afraid was sort of a waste.  I’ve since freed up over 20 hours to work on my business and I’ve made a substantial contribution to my savings account.  Go figure.

And line dancing?!  I’ve always been SO afraid of looking stupid trying new things. I didn’t want to be ‘bad’ at it and I didn’t want to look or feel stupid. A big realization this year was that the only person who cares about you looking stupid…is you.  All anyone else sees is someone trying, hopefully having fun and…that’s about it. I’ve since gone zip lining, tried my hand at wheel gymnastics, tried aerial flips and have done lots of other things I definitely would have said ‘no’ to in the past simply because I was afraid of trying.

 

My second intention was to stop doing the shit I hated. I have a picture hanging on my wall that says “Do what makes you oh so happy.”  And that’s what I did. I mean sure there were days that I didn’t want to wake up at 5am or days that I wasn’t psyched to sub a class I had agreed to cover, but in the grand scheme of things, I put making myself happy on the top of my priority list this year and I’m not sure I’ve ever felt so happy before.

This year I stopped working 50+ hours a week and doing so much admin work I wanted to smash the computer screen almost daily.  Instead, I cut back my hours to simply train my clients and teach my clients because that was what made me happy. 

I started taking strength & conditioning classes at a local gym because my own workouts were getting boring and my progress was stalling. My workouts are fun again and these classes are one of the highlights of my week.

I began asking for what I wanted whether it was with clients or in other relationships and in turn I’ve started feeling more empowered and my relationship have never been stronger.  It’s amazing how wonderfully people respond when we start setting respectful boundaries.

2016 was a rollercoaster ride.  Just because I turned my fears into action and stopped doing the things I hated doesn’t mean the year was all sunshine and roses, but keeping those two things in the forefront of my mind certainly helped make it one of my favorite years yet.  Best part is, there’s still over a week left and there’s plenty of time to set intentions for 2017.

I want to challenge you to drop the NEW YEAR NEW YOU! Resolutions and instead set intentions. By setting intentions it makes it a bit easier to let go of the attachments to outcomes and simply live our lives and roll with the punches  No set outcomes, no specific expectations, just words to live by that will help catapult you to a life you absolutely love living.

So, what’s your intention for 2017?

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